I'm not an Anti-Christ or a fallen angel, I just love Goth. I've always been associated with the culture since I welcomed the world not with a cry or laugh but with a smirk. I have a very simple philosophy in life: it is either black or white. I'm black, and I'd rather see the bitter sweet reality than to delude myself of the jolly- olly conspiracy when it would be like winning the lottery just for a chance of trance.
Well, life could be such a joke, as opposites actually do attract. This raging cynicism in me is met by the bubbly and sunny character of my fiancee. She didn't even try to change me, but she accepted me as I am and I flourished like a wild flower in her garden of love.
But as I said, good things rarely last, more perhaps it's not destined to lure my way after all. Six months ago, she was
diagnosed with cancer. I took it harder than most tragedies in my life. But what can I do?! There are more chances that I'd be struck with lightning than winning the lottery!
I live in this shabby pad that I soon shared with her. Even when things are a twister of clutter, she didn't complain, and she remained calm and sweet. When she was confined, that's when I felt the empty space without her. So in a flare of despair, I decided on a project.
I painted the walls yellow, or more like orange yellow, that was the combo. I took the idea after a sunflower. I thought that even with my skeptic views, I believe that colors reflect our emotions and character. And for Janna, she brightens up my life like the sun and blossoms like the sunflower.
I was reluctant at first, but when I saw the finished project, I noticed that it added life and light to my grayish walls. And even after she's gone, I kept it yellow, just to remind me of her. Even my friends would say that the color blends well with the crampy space, colorful sofa, and
eclectic carpet. Yellow isn't for fags believe me! Just choose the right tinge and blend. It's good that we may emerge from our grayish walls and reveal the softy side of every man (if there is one!)
